Things you can kick me in the butt if I don't do

1. I resolve to never again say the phrase: women are ridiculous. (or anything that expresses that same idea)
2. I resolve to never again say a "your mom" joke. ('That's what she said' is the next step...)
3. I resolve to never use the words "gay", "fag", "dyke", or any words like them as negative adjectives.
4. I resolve to never again look at any form of pornography. (Kick me in the face for this one...)
5. I resolve to try and sing everyday, to read my bible everyday, and to think about the gospel everyday. (these are more like goals than resolutions... but I will try.)
6. I resolve to be a man that lives with honor, constitution, and love. To be a man worthy of the title: "Christian".
7. I resolve to never perform the balltap, sack tap, grundle shark, crotch grab, heel to the balls, under hook, penis flick, or any such shannanigans, again.
8. I resolve to give Christ lordship in the area of dating.

God, help me.

 Lead on, O King eternal,
 the day of march has come;
 henceforth in fields of conquest
 thy tents shall be our home.
 Through days of preparation
 thy grace has made us strong;
 and now, O King eternal,
 we lift our battle song.

 Lead on, O King eternal,
 till sin's fierce war shall cease,
 and holiness shall whisper
 the sweet amen of peace.
 For not with swords loud clashing,
 nor roll of stirring drums;
 with deeds of love and mercy
 the heavenly kingdom comes.

 Lead on, O King eternal,
 we follow, not with fears,
 for gladness breaks like morning
 where'er thy face appears.
 Thy cross is lifted o'er us,
 we journey in its light;
 the crown awaits the conquest;
 lead on, O God of might.