College tips from a seasoned veteran

In about 9 hours I'll have my first class of my (hopefully) last semester at TU. As an senior, I think it would be good to pass on some wisdom to the younger fellows. So here are my tips on how to start a semester on the right foot.

1. Study the syllabus. In many of my classes, I've spent more time looking at the syllabus than at the textbook. Understand, and then make a gameplan towards passing the class by the skin of your teeth. Homework is worth 10% of your grade? Well if you're aiming for a 90%, that HW is really... worth nothing. Think about it...

2. Make a good impression on your profs. They'll probably only see you about 12 times all semeseter, so make those few occasions count. When you actually go to class, they should see you and be pleasantly suprised. This has taken me awhile to master, but I think I've gotten it down to an art.

3. Ask questions. Just ask. Don't sit there wondering if the prof's gonna answer it later, just ask.
A: This will help accomplish goal number 2.
B: You'll understand what you're learning.

4. Don't sit around blockheads. If it's a smaller class, seat location is crucial. You generally want to be around people who go to class all the time, take good notes, and study way too hard. There is an inbalance in the universe when people study too hard. You must bring balance by missing class every once in a while, and having them fill you in.
A. This makes them feel useful, and appreciated.
B. This brings balance to the universe. Seriously... this is very important. Trust me. Think of me as Yoda. Just do it.

...so yeah, don't sit by blockheads who can never answer your questions, and have no idea what's going on. Also, you could possibly be disliked by association, as the professor will have negative feelings towards everyone in that particular room region. So instead of sitting with other mediocre students, like yourself, go sit by the goodie-goods and bring them down.

5. Steadfastly aim towards getting the C. College is for getting a degree. And... the golden C will earn you that degree. Spend the least amount of time possible doing schoolwork, because very soon... school will be something in your past. You have a high B? Nice work, take the week off! This makes college more exciting, and prepares you to deal with stressful situations, as well as failure. People who always made the honor roll kind of flip out when they fail their first class. As for me, I've failed 21 credits, but I'm flyin' high, no lie, you know this... ... BALLIN'! So yeah... live life on the edge. Always aim to be on top- of the bell curve, that is.

6. Lastly, procrastinate well. There are 2 crucial parts of procrastinating. How long to procrastinate, and how to procrastinate. The duration of procrastination is crucial. You want to pace yourself so you don't freak out and lose your mind because you don't have enough time, and you don't want to get done too early, because then you didn't get enough quality procrastinating time. Pace yourself.

How to Procrastinate. Do things that are not pointless. Instead of playing spider solitaire, play spider solitaire while listening to a sermon, or nuclear physics lecture... whatever you're into. Instead of talking on AIM, go hang out with somebody. And instead of playing dumb computer games like Dice Wars, do something that'll be of future benefit, like... training yourself to use finger puppets, practice a musical instrument(even whistling), knit, learn how to do oragami, exercise... something like that.

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Well, that's my list. Take it for what it's worth... it's coming from a guy with a 2.4 GPA. Enjoy college, it's fun. If you aren't enjoying college... you should probably sort some things out before you get into the "real world"... or you'll end up like Milton from Office Space. So enjoy it, but at the same time, prepare socially, economically, physically, mentally, spiritually, and psychologically for the future. College is like LIFE 204... whereas life after college is like LIFE 451... meaning this is preparation and equipping time. So... be good at life. OK, friends. Happy painting, and God Bless.